Parenting A Special Needs Child

Guess what daily task can make a parent of a special needs child crazy?

Homework is at the top of the list!

BORING, endless, PRESSURE, dry, demanding, IMPOSSIBLE are some of the words used by a special needs child when doing homework which can ruin any day for both the child and the parent. Who needs all that whining and what can be done to actually make it fun? Why have your child with ADHD bounce around the room disconnected form the project he is supposed to be doing, when he can bounce and actually help his homework?

My job as Mom is to bring fun into all situations and help Deena learn in a creative atmosphere. I think all special needs children can succeed when fun is added to any task. So I sing…..about the spelling test, about the material we are learning, about her mood and about anything that will help her to focus. I keep on searching for any method that will bring good cheer to the daily grind of homework.

Here’s what you can do:

• Add a rhythm. If your child is trying to remember math or words for a spelling test, beat out the rhythm of  4X4=16 and keep repeating it. Tap together with your hands on table to help with grounding, or knock on your knees to get whole body involved.
• Clap it out spelling that impossible word at same time
• Stamp it out repeatedly chanting that number or word
• Run it out. Do you have a treadmill? Nothing like walking or running while repeating that difficult word
• Dance it out. Get that difficult word , add music and dance to that rhythm

Have a look at this funny clip and leave a comment to tell me if you have better ideas? Leave a video clip of your homework method that you have recorded.

And if you want to see me demonstrate on video the Number One Technique I use most with my child—click here.

Here’s the good news!

Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Children with special needs are no different. The trick is to help them find and develop these strengths, so that they can be empowered by their own abilities during the day. This helps to balance out long, frustrating days when everything can be just too hard. Parenting a special needs child can be about helping your child to see beyond their own frustrations and difficulties.

A child with fetal alcohol syndrome or ADD may find it hard de-coding other people’s  emotions and become self-absorbed as a result. An elderly person will possibly have more tolerance towards your child and a baby is definitely less judgmental, so your child will feel more comfortable in their company.

We all need something to be proud of in ourselves; something that makes us stand out as special and talented. One of Deena’s gifts seems to be “Nurturing” others, especially babies and the elderly. So I make every effort to keep her in contact with a few babies on a weekly basis so that she can feel helpful, protective and responsible towards someone needier than herself.

Does your child nurture anyone special? Please leave a comment and tell us about it….

And if you want to see me demonstrate on video the Number One Technique I use most with my child—click here.

So, did you try out the breathing on your special needs child? I recommend this for someone with FAS or ADHD on a daily basis.

Now,Are you ready for a Breathing variation? The  best way to parent a resistant child and avoid a confrontation is to roll with their sense of humor. Deena clearly needs to add her personality to the endless breathing demands, so watch how she adds her finger technique to make it more fun. As long as we are laughing, breathing and spreading calm, I consider this a good morning.

Try out the breathing and share about your great additions!

I’m waiting to hear about your child’s funny ideas……

Here’s a great discovery that can benefit your special needs child:

The car is the perfect place to help your child gain focus on the way to school or an outing.

Instead of having one’s child burst into the car with loads of noise and wild energy which disturbs your driving and sets the pattern for a hyper day, I try to set a consistent structure: Daily abdominal breathing. Each time Deena gets in the car, she has to immediately put on her seat belt (and yes! I apologize that in this clip I didn’t notice that it was not on correctly) and begin her breathing pattern:

• -Air in though the nose slowly and deeply while you feel the tummy expand
• - Out via the mouth but don’t let your body collapse
  -Don’t rush and feel how it slowly fills your lungs without adding tension to your shoulders
• -It also helps to close your eyes and intend for it to work!

I notice that whenever the doctor would check her with a stethoscope, her deep breathing would make her relaxed and smiley in a dramatically immediate way. So as she breathes up to the count of 25, she has to say each number clearly out loud. This stops her rushing or doing it automatically. I also stop her when she gets off track, so that she realizes that I am not fooling around and that this breathing is serious business. I insist she gets it right before we open the car door and we might have to do it again and again and I see how It definitely makes a difference. If  your child has ADHD, give this a try!

Have a look at the clip and see how Deena goes from agitated to calmer with these breathing techniques. Let me know if this works for you and then we can go onto the next breathing stage.