Parenting A Special Needs Child

Do you want  to find out what many Occupational Therapists recommend you should have in the house to reduce meltdowns in your special needs child? Read on.

Deena can have a meltdown while doing homework a zillion times like any child with focusing problems as it is too overwhelming.

That is where bouncing on a MINI-  trampoline can be a life-saver.  There is something about the repetitive action that is so grounding and calming for her. I don’t mean the large trampolines where you bounce out of control in too large an area in danger of breaking your leg- I mean the mini ones which are the size of a large hoop. That is the best place for memory games or going over math problems while she rhythmically bounces away. Then she can return to homework in a state of physical and mental relief.

Watch this video clip to see how her mood changes in seconds. How about leaving a comment to let us know if you have found an effective way of calming your special needs child?

And if you want to see me demonstrate on video the Number One Calming Technique I use most with my child—click here.

Are you helping your special needs child SUCCEED or FAIL?

My job as a parent of a special needs child is to offer support in all the right places and help her  be the best she can be. So when we went to our first swim meet of the swim team of the YMCA, I was there in the background making sure everything was running smoothly.

And lucky I was there because it wasn’t!  Some regular kids were having meltdowns from the pressure; others were wandering around unclear which lane they were supposed to be in and when. So I wanted to make sure that Deena was calm and was set up for the best possible experience.

When the teacher gave her the card with her instructions that said she was doing front crawl in lane 3 in the next competition, she didn’t notice that Deena was wearing her swim goggles and not her glasses and couldn’t read a thing! She actually wouldn’t have been able to understand that card with all its complicated details even if she had had her glasses! I read it for her and for all the other kids that were confused or lost and made sure that she got to the correct place to swim at the correct time.

For a child with sensory integrations issues, there are so many factors that can get you out of balance which swim teachers may not be aware of. There is the loud noise of the constant cheering of the parents, the bright overhead lights, the squashing of the kids together during the waiting time on the deck, no access to drinking water while waiting for your competition, the honk of the horns at the start of each race: any of these experiences could make a child agitated and raw. You just have to watch the body movements of your child to gauge what their emotional state is.

When Deena came in 2^nd in the crawl race, I was there cheering, but in a way that I knew she could tolerate and I tried not to add to the general mayhem! When she came in almost last in the backstroke, I was cheering her along as well so she could get a sense of “you win some and you lose some” and help her keep her sense of perspective.

Listen to this video clip and tell me the ways you support your child.

And if you want to see me demonstrate on video the Number One Technique I use most with my child—click here.

“I wish I could belong to that group, but I’m not good enough”.How many times have you heard your special needs child say that?

As a Parent to a child with special needs, I am always sensitive about her desire to fit in and belong to something that her peers are doing. However, the math group is too hard, the book club is out of the question and the soccer team always seems to knock her glasses off! Often children with learning disabilities or behavioral challenges will find themselves isolated and left out of a group which can be so lonely. It breaks my heart when she is excluded!

So I was in a constant search to help Deena find the perfect group that would help her fit in and be comfortable. Luckily she has great swimming skills which we have nurtured from a young age in order to direct her energy in a positive direction, so her natural group became the Swim team of the local YMCA.

What an amazing experience for a girl who is normally the last one to understand what is going on in class where everyone else is quicker than her. Here she can shine and enjoy a group experience of demanding swimming with a strict teacher who is serious about that particular skill that my child can do. There is little chance to chat during the swim practice itself as the kids are swimming non-stop in every style and barely have a chance to catch their breath. But that also means there is little chance for Deena to get distracted or wander off topic in conversation which might annoy other kids. Here she can have fun with them before and after and enjoy being part of a group.

When you are part of a group, you suddenly have a community. You fit in. You are part of a common effort and not watching from the side. It’s all about the team supporting each other and not about your individual problems.

I recommend you help your child find his community soon.

Leave a comment below to let me know if you have found a group that makes your special needs child feel welcome. Maybe you can give us some new ideas? Waiting to hear from you……

If you like the video below you can see another video of my Number One Calming Technique right here.

Do you want to know how to raise the confidence level of your special needs child? Read on…..

Does your child have sensory integration issues and come home from school with incessant chatter about feeling humiliated in class? Does your child suffer with ADHD or fetal alcohol syndrome , suffer in school with difficulty in following through on instructions and come home hyperactive yet dejected?

Then help your child by:

• Seeking out a skill that empowers him and fills him with pride
• Find an encouraging teacher who can nurture that skill in teamwork with you

But my child doesn’t have any skills you might say! Untrue. Look closely and you will find. Can your child help others feel good about themselves? Is your child particularly sensitive around animals? Does your child spice his food in an interesting way that might lead to cooking skills?

We didn’t have to look too far to discover a skill in our daughter. Even though she has special needs, Deena learned to swim early and I noticed that most of her bath times as a baby were  spent under the water like a hippo. It is only in the water that she is her true self, confident and gliding like a true dolphin. So we encouraged this skill with early lessons which led to Deena being good enough to join the local swim team and even excel there.

Then I searched diligently for a fabulous teacher who could be strong yet encouraging,warm yet insistent on maintaining a high standard.  Special needs children need the support of a teacher who will be touchy-feely yet firm at the same time and bring out their natural talent.Now we work as a team and Deena is proud of her skill.

Have a look at this clip and let me know what skill your child is proud of.

And if you want to see me demonstrate on video the Number One Calming Technique I use most with my child—click here.

Read on if you need to recover after a frazzling day with your child who has ADHD or FAS.

So what happened today? Did your child:

• Totally mismanage his time?
• Over-react to some minor stimuli?
• Have some crazy mood-swing and then meltdown?
• Behave hyper-actively all day long?

All this can affect you the parent with your health and stability. No kidding! So what’s a parent to do?’

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! Now is the time to tune into your own needs and service yourself. Hopefully you are teaching your child to listen to their own body and be aware of the message that their body is giving them regarding safety and behavior. Now it’s your turn to do the same thing and re-charge your own batteries so that you are available afterwards for the long haul.

SO, WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD? Find something physical to give you back your balance. Is it yoga, swimming, jogging, boxing? Find it quickly, and even better if it can be outside.

I’ve been in that experience frequently. Listen to this video clip to find out how I refresh myself and let me know  if this clip revived you. Leave your comment below.

If you like the video below you can see a video of my Number One Calming Technique right here.

Guess what daily task can make a parent of a special needs child crazy?

Homework is at the top of the list!

BORING, endless, PRESSURE, dry, demanding, IMPOSSIBLE are some of the words used by a special needs child when doing homework which can ruin any day for both the child and the parent. Who needs all that whining and what can be done to actually make it fun? Why have your child with ADHD bounce around the room disconnected form the project he is supposed to be doing, when he can bounce and actually help his homework?

My job as Mom is to bring fun into all situations and help Deena learn in a creative atmosphere. I think all special needs children can succeed when fun is added to any task. So I sing…..about the spelling test, about the material we are learning, about her mood and about anything that will help her to focus. I keep on searching for any method that will bring good cheer to the daily grind of homework.

Here’s what you can do:

• Add a rhythm. If your child is trying to remember math or words for a spelling test, beat out the rhythm of  4X4=16 and keep repeating it. Tap together with your hands on table to help with grounding, or knock on your knees to get whole body involved.
• Clap it out spelling that impossible word at same time
• Stamp it out repeatedly chanting that number or word
• Run it out. Do you have a treadmill? Nothing like walking or running while repeating that difficult word
• Dance it out. Get that difficult word , add music and dance to that rhythm

Have a look at this funny clip and leave a comment to tell me if you have better ideas? Leave a video clip of your homework method that you have recorded.

And if you want to see me demonstrate on video the Number One Technique I use most with my child—click here.

Read on if you want a little perspective on life.

Parenting a special needs child is not necessarily the pretty picture we had imagined as we dreamed about future family life. Wasn’t it supposed to be about peaceful family moments playing calmly and creatively together while we relax in each others company. Where do meltdowns and high frustration levels fit into this picture? What about the many times we feel like enjoying time AWAY from our family, because the burden of a child with ADHD, FAS or sensory intergration issues can be just too demanding to deal with positively every single day!

Every parent will say that “Parenting is the hardest job in the world”, but I think that all of us parents of special needs children know how hard it can really be.We need endless patience, endless energy, endless resolve to keep on going when it seems hopeless, endless good cheer to keep on winding ourselves up to repeat what needs to be repeated again and again and again. Sometimes it can all seem like an enormous burden and what is the point of all the effort when our child is developing so slowly?

That’s where this clip is relevant!

I regularly lead support groups for couples going through the agonizing infertility roller-coaster process. My husband and I went through that for 7 years and know first-hand how awful that can be.

But here’s THE POINT!! Those couples, those wonderfully deserving and brave couples would do anything to be in our situation of being able to parent and nurture a child, no matter how exhausting it is.At the worst of times, we still get to be a parent and get to experience those joyful, “Special” moments too.

Have a listen to this clip and let me know by commenting below how it resonates with you.Are there surprising areas in family life that you can appreciate?

If you like the video below you can see a video of my Number One Calming Technique right here.

Here’s the good news!

Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Children with special needs are no different. The trick is to help them find and develop these strengths, so that they can be empowered by their own abilities during the day. This helps to balance out long, frustrating days when everything can be just too hard. Parenting a special needs child can be about helping your child to see beyond their own frustrations and difficulties.

A child with fetal alcohol syndrome or ADD may find it hard de-coding other people’s  emotions and become self-absorbed as a result. An elderly person will possibly have more tolerance towards your child and a baby is definitely less judgmental, so your child will feel more comfortable in their company.

We all need something to be proud of in ourselves; something that makes us stand out as special and talented. One of Deena’s gifts seems to be “Nurturing” others, especially babies and the elderly. So I make every effort to keep her in contact with a few babies on a weekly basis so that she can feel helpful, protective and responsible towards someone needier than herself.

Does your child nurture anyone special? Please leave a comment and tell us about it….

And if you want to see me demonstrate on video the Number One Technique I use most with my child—click here.

So, did you try out the breathing on your special needs child? I recommend this for someone with FAS or ADHD on a daily basis.

Now,Are you ready for a Breathing variation? The  best way to parent a resistant child and avoid a confrontation is to roll with their sense of humor. Deena clearly needs to add her personality to the endless breathing demands, so watch how she adds her finger technique to make it more fun. As long as we are laughing, breathing and spreading calm, I consider this a good morning.

Try out the breathing and share about your great additions!

I’m waiting to hear about your child’s funny ideas……

Here’s a great discovery that can benefit your special needs child:

The car is the perfect place to help your child gain focus on the way to school or an outing.

Instead of having one’s child burst into the car with loads of noise and wild energy which disturbs your driving and sets the pattern for a hyper day, I try to set a consistent structure: Daily abdominal breathing. Each time Deena gets in the car, she has to immediately put on her seat belt (and yes! I apologize that in this clip I didn’t notice that it was not on correctly) and begin her breathing pattern:

• -Air in though the nose slowly and deeply while you feel the tummy expand
• - Out via the mouth but don’t let your body collapse
  -Don’t rush and feel how it slowly fills your lungs without adding tension to your shoulders
• -It also helps to close your eyes and intend for it to work!

I notice that whenever the doctor would check her with a stethoscope, her deep breathing would make her relaxed and smiley in a dramatically immediate way. So as she breathes up to the count of 25, she has to say each number clearly out loud. This stops her rushing or doing it automatically. I also stop her when she gets off track, so that she realizes that I am not fooling around and that this breathing is serious business. I insist she gets it right before we open the car door and we might have to do it again and again and I see how It definitely makes a difference. If  your child has ADHD, give this a try!

Have a look at the clip and see how Deena goes from agitated to calmer with these breathing techniques. Let me know if this works for you and then we can go onto the next breathing stage.